Sat. Nov 2nd, 2024

Hey everyone!

Today, I’m going to be talking about a Greek myth!

This is a myth you’ve probably never heard of. I don’t think it’s ever referenced in Percy Jackson or anything (unless it has been recently)–which is where many people, unfortunately, get their knowledge of Greek and/or Roman mythology.

This is a little story I heard of due to Certamen! Certamen is basically Jeopardy with Latin-themed questions.

Each participant is given a buzzer. Once the round begins, questions concerning things like Latin Grammar, Roman Life, and Greek/Roman Mythology are asked. Once you know the answer(the goal is to be the first to buzz and answer correctly–buzz even if the question hasn’t finished being spoken), you have to buzz in as quickly as possible and give the correct answer.

Simple, right? Wrong (I wish it were that simple lol). Some questions throw you for a loop. For example, you may buzz in on “Born from the blood of Medusa” and answer, “Pegasus.” Then you feel really good about yourself–until you realize that the rest of the question was, “this demigod bore a golden sword.”

…Don’t know?

The answer is “Chrysaor.”

Okay, he was in Percy Jackson, so you probably *did* know.

But we’re not here to talk about that.

We’re here to talk about Seven Against Thebes!

I’m going to summarize Seven Against Thebes for you. It’s actually a pretty darn interesting story.

We begin with Polyneices and his brother, Eteocles. Polyneices and Eteocles were supposed to take turns ruling Thebes, but if they had, we wouldn’t have a story.

Eteocles refuses to step down from the throne. This, understandably, made Polyneices a little bit ticked off. A man named Adrastus comes along and decides to help Polyneices get the throne back.

Adrastus cobbles together the Seven that will go against Thebes. (Oh look, it’s the title.) These Seven were Polyneices, Tydeus, Capaneus, Parthenopaeus, Hippomedon, Eteoclus (not Eteocles) and Adrastus himself. However, Amphiarus, an oracle, divined that this plan would fail, and everybody except Adrastus would die. Does anyone back out?

NAH.

Now if there’s one thing that’s common in Greek and Roman mythology is that each side figures out exactly what they need to win. But they don’t mean strategy. Instead, the army usually has to go find a series of trinkets and humans, because according to some important guy, that’s what any side needs to win.

Eteoclus’ father, Iphis, tells Polynieces to win the support of Adrastus’ sister, Eriphyle. She decides to bicker with Adrastus and Amphiarus, so Polynieces bribes her with the necklace of Harmonia. After which Polynieces marches against Thebes.

The Seven stop at a little place called Nemea to get some water. However, despite being warriors, they don’t know where the spring is. Luckily, they meet a woman named Hypsipyle. Hypsipyle was a nursemaid for a small child named Opheltes. Opheltes was the son of Lycurgus and Eurydice.

(Not Eurydice like Orpheus’s wife- there are four Eurydices. That makes things a wee bit confusing.)

Anyway, the Seven have a conversation with Hypsipyle that probably went something like this:

Adrastus: Hello lady, me and my six friends need to find water. Can you show us the way to the nearest water source?

Hypsipyle: Huh. okay, armed group of strangers! Of course! But…what do I do with this child?

*Hypsipyle looks at Opheltes in her arms. Then she has an idea.*

Hypsipyle: I know! *yeets Opheltes into a bunch of parsley* He’ll be perfectly safe! C’mon! Let’s go get y’all some water!

Adrastus:

THE MEME DILEMMA: How Memes Help to Destroy Creative Thought and Popularize  Ignorance | by Jake Aaron Ward | Medium

So Hypsipyle leads the Seven to the spring. However, when they come back, they find out that snakes strangled Opheltes. This, not only a tragedy, also foreshadowed the fates of the Seven. (Except Adrastus, I guess.)

The Seven bury Opheltes as “Archemorus,” translating to “Beginner of Doom.” Because things SURE AS HECK AIN’T GONNA GET BETTER FROM HERE-

At the funeral games for the small child, Adrastus and his horse, Arion (yeah, that’s right. The fast horse, son of Posiedon and Demeter. Go away, Hazel) win a chariot race. The victors of these funeral games were crowned in parsley.

Seems strange, but look on the bright side–if they had some bland food, they could always use their trophy.

The army then heads to Mount Cithaeron. Tydeus was sent to demand Eteocles to surrender. Tydeus challenges the Thebans to single combat, and Polyneices laughs a little inside. How can one dude possibly defeat an army? Polyneices sends fifty men under two guys (Maeon and Polyphontes) to ambush Tydeus. And what happens?

Tydeus killed EVERYONE EXCEPT MAEON AND SENDS MAEON BACK TO THEBES LIKE, “Go tell your king about your crushing defeat lol”

Polyneices realizes this might be a bit harder than he thought. So, he goes to find Oedipus (a blind guy who has one , because oracles said, the side Oedipus favors will win.

Oedipus is a little angry. Polyneices had exiled him and now wants him to help in a war against his brother. So Oedipus does the natural thing- he curses both Polyneices and Eteocles, saying that they’d both die.

Back to Thebes. Adrastus assigns one of the Seven to each gate. Tiresias, the blind seer (who really gets around…bro is in every myth), says that the city will be saved if the son of Creon, Menoeceus sacrifices himself. So Menoeceus does.

Some guy named Capaneus scales the wall of the city and says something like, “zEuS cAn’T sToP mEeEeEeeeeEee–” and proceeds to get struck by a thunderbolt.

Note to self- never say the king of the gods can’t do something.

This is when the Seven begin to fall.

Mecisteus and Eteoclus are killed by the Theban champions. A stone crushes Parthenopaeus. Tydeus is mortally wounded in the stomach and kills Melanippus.

Athena, however, wants to make Tydeus immortal. She asks for Zeus for some medicine to make Tydeus immortal. However, Amphiarus hates Tydeus. So he gives Tydeus Melanippus’s brain. And Tydeus consumes it. Athena sees this and, disgusted, dumps the medicine and Tydeus dies.

Amphiarus is a piece of work.

Amphiarus doesn’t even fight too much–he flees along the Ismenus River from Periclymenus with his charioteer, either known as Baton or Elato. Zeus was like “oh no you don’t” and split the earth underneath the chariot, killing Amphiarus. Polyneices and Eteocles kill eachother. Adrastus is saved by his horse Arion, fulfilling the prophecy.

The new king of Thebes was Creon–father of the now deceased Menoeceus. Creon refused to bury the dead (wow). So everybody defies him by burying their dead anyways. Polyneices’ sister Antigone and Creon’s son haemon bury Polyneices, and the famed Theseus sent an army to retrieve bodies.

Common soldiers were buried in Eleutherae, and the champions were buried in Eleusis (home of the Eleusinian Mysteries and the place where Demeter and Persephone reunited).

And that was the Seven of Thebes.

Yeah, that was a lot to take in. Mythology is weird.

But hey, you learned something new!

If your school has a Certamen team, go join! It’s super fun, and you learn a whole lot.

Okay that’s it bye 😀

-Abby

By Abby Subedi

Editor-In-Chief

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