Sat. Sep 28th, 2024

Okay, I really really really want to talk about Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

Also known as SSBU from the Super Smash Bros. series (aka the SSB series).

Yes, the game is relatively old (It’s turning 6 this year) but I feel like it has a few problems, and I’d like to address those.

Disclaimer: You’ll probably be offended. Especially if you like Kirby. Also, this is my opinion. You might not agree, and that’s okay. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, and I might not like yours either. As long as you don’t shove in my face that you (intensely) dislike my opinion, I’m okay with it.

Anyway.

The first, probably not the most major issue, is special down taunts.

If you’re not sure what these are, it’s when you very briefly press the down arrow (or press down the joystick and briefly press the button closest to the bottom of your controller- you now know how to taunt with one controller, for more taunts press the other buttons while still pressing down on the joystick) and, for a select few characters on a select few battlefields, if you complete the long animation without flinching/being KO’d, get a special taunt that triggers secret dialogue.

If you are KO’d or trigger a Final Smash during a special taunt’s dialogue, the taunt ends. (You get a Game Over reference if you get KO’d in the middle of a dialogue with Snake.) You can only trigger a special taunt once per match. If you try again, it won’t work.

Quick thing: the taunt is triggered best if you scratch the button with your nail while pushing the button slightly. Nobody tells you this, but you’re welcome.

My biggest issue with Falco’s, and/or Fox’s.

They trigger a conversation similar to the (very old) dialogue in Star Fox games, the origin series for Fox, Wolf, and Falco.

The problem is I can’t get the taunt to trigger unless there are two Star Fox characters on the battlefield, but I only tried Corneria (a Star Fox battlefield). There are apparently more on the Lylat Cruise battlefield (which I forgot existed) with different characters as the opponent. You only need to play as Fox or Falco (and apparently Wolf).

Honestly? The taunts are boring, maybe less so for people who like Star Fox. It’s not as helpful and doesn’t give you guidance like other special taunts, so it’s pretty much just a gimmicky little thing.

Moving on to Snake’s taunt. Solid Snake. Otherwise known as David.

Snake, if a special down taunt is triggered on Shadow Moses Island (Metal Gear battlefield), will trigger a dialogue with one out of a few Metal Gear characters (e.g. Mei Ling, Colonel, et cetera). These taunts are called Codex conversations. (…last I checked.)

Unlike Fox’s taunt, the person Snake is talking to will give him tips or silly trivia about the character he is facing.

The only issues I have with the Codex conversations:

  • It was not updated after Brawl due to not getting as much attention as Palutena’s Guidance (which I’ll explain in a minute), so any character added in Smash 4 (SSB for the Wii U/3DS) or SSBU will not have a Codex conversation. Although I can understand this, it’s still kind of sad.
  • Zero Suit Samus. Don’t ask.

Otherwise, it’s silly and I especially like the conversations for Ness (“Even if he had telepathic powers, I don’t think he would use them against you. He’s a good kid.” -Otacon) and for Diddy Kong (“Otacon, there’s a chimpanzee out here wearing a Nintendo hat.” -Solid Snake).

Finally, Pit’s special taunt, triggering Palutena’s Guidance.

In these conversations (triggered on Palutena’s Temple), you get Guidance from Palutena (duh), Viridi, and occasionally Dark Pit.

Except Dark Pit is just Dark Pit, he doesn’t help you.

These conversations are similar to those in Kid Icarus: Uprising, and I LOVE THEM.

These conversations are updated every Smash game, so all of the newcomers have tips to defeat them.

…except for some.

Which brings me to my singular complaint.

NO DLC fighter has Palutena’s Guidance. Instead, you get this:

Pit: “Who is THAT?”

Palutena: “i hAvE nO dAtA oN tHiS fIghTer! i cAn’T bELiEvE iT!!!!1!1!1!!11”

Viridi: “It must be an iNtRuDeR from aNoThEr dImEnSiOn!!!”

Pit: “Whoever it is, the goal remains the same! To fIgHt and wIn!!!!!!!!11!!1!”

*Exaggerated caps added by me.*

It would be less of a problem if in Brawl, some fighters were cut out of the roster and added as DLC. These characters were included in the Story Mode (minus Mewtwo, who was a Smash 4 newcomer) and they did not have DLC.

Yes, I’m talking about Lucas.

Even though Lucas had Guidance in Brawl, he doesn’t have it in Smash 4.

So it probably went like this:

Pit: “Who is THAT?”

Lucas: “…You forgot about me?”

Pit: “Oh- Oh nonononono wait-“

So even if we don’t get another SSB game, I really want Palutena’s Guidance to be updated for the new DLC fighters. Maybe Pit referencing that Kazukya literally threw him off of a cliff in his reveal trailer.

Like:

Pit: “AAAAHHHH!!”

Viridi: “What’s the problem boi”

Pit: “HE GONNA KEEL ME AGAINNN”

…yeah

I would talk more about Kirby and how much I hate him but hey that’s podcast material.

Ok bye 😀

Unpopular opinion: Byleth is an okay character.

By Abby Subedi

Editor-In-Chief