Unraveling the Bits and Pieces

: by Ranjak Joshi

A bunch of women that wear red, pray the snake god, and gather together to dance.  The biggest misconception that I had for years is finally clearing up year by year.  Some might say it’s my maturity that’s making me more curious day by day wanting to know more about my own culture but I take it as understanding my existence in this new land.  When I first entered this new land, United States of America, I was just five years old who had no understanding of my own nor the Western culture.  My parents strongly resisted to give up the values of my own culture and taught my sister and I the meaning behind every rituals of a festival, however, despite their resistance, the indirect coercion of the American culture made us the ultimate melting pot.  Although we were the targets of the melting pot, my curiosity and the uniqueness of the Nepali culture brought together two diverse cultures of the East and West.  

Teej is the most significant and selfless festival for Hindu Nepali women.  This festival falls in the month of mid August or beginning of September every year.  The history of Teej traces back to Hindu deity mythology times when Goddess Parvati, consort of Lord Shiva took 108th births on Earth before Shiva accepted her as his wife.  Since Parvati was deeply in love with Shiva, she went through a series of penance such as complete avoidance of food and water, and sitting alone in the Himalayas by praying for his acceptance.  Because Parvati was truly devoted to Shiva, he accepted her as his wife and this day is celebrated as “Haritalika Teej”, in other words, the union of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati.  Shiva and Parvati that are known as the best Hindu power couple set a strong influential example for today’s husband-wife relationship.  Since Parvati had to wait until 108th births to gain Shiva’s trust, in the Hindu mythology, it is declared that whoever remembers the penance of Parvati and reciprocates it, will get the blessings of Shiva and Parvati.  Similarly, like Parvati, unmarried women who practice the strong fast of Teej will get a kind-hearted husband they desire and married women, in contrast, will get a strong marital bond and long healthy life for their husband.  Since in Hinduism red is the color of marital auspiciousness, dressed up as newly weds, women will wear red sarees and gold jewelries on the day before Teej and gather together with friends and families to eat appetizing foods and dance the night away.  This day in Nepali is known as “daar khane din.”  On Teej day, women will again dress up in red sarees and gold jewelries and gather together to worship Shiva and Parvati at the nearby Hindu temple.  On this day women will forbid themselves against eating or drinking anything, just as what Parvati did to gain Shiva.  At the temple, women will listen to the heroic romantic myth of Shiva and Parvati’s unity from the priest and give auspicious foods such as milk, yogurt, red bangles, barley, rice, and fruits as donation to Shiva for the long and happy life of their husband.  After visiting Shiva and Parvati at the temple, women will worship their own husband as “Shiva” by putting red coloring as blessing on the husband’s forehead, washing his feet with water and drinking that water as their first sip of the day.  This water is known as “purified” water that Lord Shiva sent which promises togetherness of a husband and wife.  After their first sip, the husband will give a bite of a sweet or fruit to his wife by breaking her fast and accepting all her devotion towards him.  Though we are Nepali Americans that have assimilated to a very distinct culture, we still have not forgotten to perform every single portion of our unique cultural ritual.  

Many of the youths, like myself, go to Teej parties and puja with our moms’, staring at the perplexing rituals they perform every year. We see that every mom performs the same task but completely miss out on the true significance of the festival.  Having two extremely pious parents that follow Teej and all other Hindu festival makes my sister and I the most fortunates.  With the support of my mother, my sister learns how to patiently perform each different custom of Teej and the connotation behind it.  For instance, my mom would pour a whole gallon of milk on a stone-like statue (Shiva Lingam) and my sister would do the same task.  While my sister would perform this task, my mom would explain that the stone-like statue is a representation of Lord Shiva which proves that he can be everywhere in many different forms.  She would also explain that since in Hinduism, cows are sacred because of their motherly figure, milk is poured into the Shiva Lingam as a sign of positive energy flowing towards the devotee.  Therefore, Teej is one of the most significant festivals in my own family as it brings my sister and I steps closer to our Hindu Nepali culture.  Due to the existence of a strong Nepali community in Milwaukee, there is not a single youth who is unaware of what Teej is.  Though the young minds might not know the exact meaning behind each ritual, they are well above informed when and how we celebrate Teej.  The Nepali community in Milwaukee hosts a Teej “daar” party and Teej “puja” every year in order to wake up the Nepali culture that has partially been soaked up into Western culture.  Even if the motivation behind the youth’s’ attendance at the party and temple might be to hang out with friends and might not absorb the full 100% of the Teej rituals, they will at least retain the rituals in small segments which will possibly raise their curiosity.  When curiosity rises in youths nothing can stop them from knowing the truth and therefore, they will lead themselves toward the path of unraveling the significance behind Teej and that is why I am able to write in such depth today. 

The East and West are not only on polar sides of the Earth’s hemisphere, the culture is similarly the opposite.  When I post Teej pictures of my family on social media, my American friends question be why red?  Why the snake God? Why only for the well being of the husband? Since at this time my curiosity had not heightened, my mind was black and white: no answer.  Now when I remember all those questions, the flash-back still chases me in full regret as to why I had no interest to know about Teej earlier in my life.  Majority of the Nepalese are Hindu and yet, they celebrate Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Easter just like Americans do because as they moved to the United States, they became more aware of American religion and history.  However, to see an American dressed up in a red saree, dancing, and visiting the temple is almost next to impossible.  Why?  It is simple, we Nepalese do not fully understand how to advocate for our own culture into this new land.  I regret, if I would have answered those questions, maybe my friends would have been less judgemental and open to accepting our culture.  Therefore, I could not stress more how important it is to teach youths the significance behind Teej.  Since Christianity is a monotheistic religion and Hinduism polytheistic, it is well known that it will be grueling to convince the minds of Americans about the mythology behind Teej’s importance.  But, if we restrain ourselves from explaining as a religious mythology, and rather explain the significance behind Teej’s each task, it will be seen as a more scientific explanation of existence.  Our Nepali American youths are tomorrow’s future; if the Nepali community works together toward teaching the significance behind Teej and other Nepali festival, I guarantee we will see Americans dressed up in red sarees visiting the temple for the well being of their marriage.